Meet Your Happiness Blocker: The 10 Saboteurs (and How to Outsmart Them With Intuition)
- Vicki Baird
- Jun 9
- 6 min read
Ever found yourself overthinking the simplest decision, procrastinating until it becomes an Olympic event, or setting standards so high they require scaffolding and a prayer?
Same. You’re not broken, you’re just human. And you likely have a few internal Saboteurs running the show.
These Saboteurs aren’t bad, per se.
They were survival strategies once. But now they’re sabotaging your growth, especially if you’re a business-minded, intuitive woman in her prime who’s ready for more. More joy. More clarity. More you.
Let’s take a walk through the 10 Saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence® program and explore how you can start shifting out of their grip using one of your most underutilized assets: your intuition.
What Are Saboteurs, Anyway?
In Positive Intelligence, Saboteurs are those automatic mental habits that hijack your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Think of them as the cast of an inner drama you didn’t audition for but still got starring roles. These characters keep you “safe” by playing old scripts—scripts that once served you but now keep you stuck.
Your Saboteurs want control, certainty, and perfection. Your intuition, on the other hand, wants freedom, flow, and fulfillment.
The good news? Once you spot them, you can shift them.
The 10 Saboteurs: A Quick Meet-and-Grit
Each Saboteur comes with its own set of fears, childhood roots, and charmingly destructive habits. Here's your lineup:
The Judge (The Ring Leader)
You vs. You.
You vs. Others.
You vs. Circumstances.
The Judge is always picking a fight.
The Judge is the ringleader of all Saboteurs. It criticizes you for not being good enough, others for not doing it right, and life itself for not going to plan. It creates a constant feeling of pressure and dissatisfaction. While it may pretend it’s “just being honest,” it actually fuels stress, self-doubt, and disconnection from your inner wisdom.
Childhood root: Learned to criticize self/others to feel in control or avoid blame.
Common thought: “I’m not enough. They’re not enough. This situation is a mess.”
Intuitive Shift: Pause. Breathe. Ask, “What’s the wisest, kindest truth right now?”
The Controller
Loves to take charge… mostly because it doesn’t trust anyone else to.
The Controller believes the only path to safety is to take charge—of people, plans, and outcomes. It runs on intensity and often overwhelms or alienates others in the process. Underneath the surface? A deep fear of chaos and vulnerability. The Controller’s “my way or the highway” mindset blocks collaboration, trust, and intuitive flow.
Childhood root: Gained safety by being in control.
Common thought: “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.”
Intuitive Shift: Practice surrender. Let someone else lead, even if it’s just dinner plans.
The Hyper-Achiever
Thrives on gold stars and outward success.
Success isn’t just important to the Hyper-Achiever—it’s everything. This Saboteur ties your self-worth directly to external achievements. Gold stars, titles, income… they’re all fuel. But the moment the applause stops, so does the feeling of value. This creates burnout and a disconnection from your authentic self, making it hard to hear your inner voice beneath the hustle.
Childhood root: Received love for performance, not presence.
Common thought: “I must succeed to be valued.”
Intuitive Shift: Redefine success as alignment, not achievement.
The Pleaser
Wants to make everyone happy. Often disappears in the process.
The Pleaser gets its validation by putting others first, often without being asked. It sacrifices your own needs for approval and harmony, hoping that people will love you back. The problem? Resentment builds, authenticity fades, and your intuition gets drowned out by everyone else’s expectations.
Childhood root: Avoided conflict or earned love by people-pleasing.
Common thought: “If they’re happy, I’m safe.”
Intuitive Shift: Tune in. What you need matters just as much.
The Avoider
Avoids hard conversations, conflict, or anything emotionally uncomfortable.
Conflict? Hard conversations? Emotional discomfort? The Avoider says “no thanks” and quietly walks the other way. It masks avoidance as being “peaceful” or “going with the flow,” but it actually creates tension by suppressing important truths. Growth stalls when avoidance takes the wheel, because personal power lives on the other side of discomfort.
Childhood root: Learned to suppress emotions or avoid pain.
Common thought: “It’s not worth the trouble.”
Intuitive Shift: Discomfort is often a doorway. Trust your gut, not your panic.
The Victim
Feels misunderstood or mistreated, and finds comfort in emotional intensity.
This Saboteur thrives in emotional intensity and believes life happens to you, not for you. It uses pain or a sense of being misunderstood to get attention or sympathy. While your feelings are absolutely valid, the Victim Saboteur keeps you stuck in a passive role, disconnected from the intuitive knowing that you can choose your response.
Childhood root: Used suffering as a way to gain love or attention.
Common thought: “No one sees how hard this is.”
Intuitive Shift: Choose agency. You’re the author of your story now.
The Hyper-Rational
Leads with logic, leaving little room for emotion or connection.
The Hyper-Rational relies almost exclusively on logic, facts, and analysis. Feelings? Soft stuff. Relationships? Optional. This Saboteur often developed in environments where intellect was valued more than emotional connection. While being smart is a gift, when it drowns out intuition and human connection, it becomes a limitation.
Childhood root: Valued intellect over feeling to feel safe.
Common thought: “Feelings are a distraction.”
Intuitive Shift: Intuition lives in the body and heart. Don’t shut the door on wisdom.
The Hyper-Vigilant
Always on alert. Exhausting, yes—but it’s trying to keep you safe.
Always alert, always anticipating danger—this Saboteur is convinced the worst-case scenario is right around the corner. It scans for risk 24/7, creating chronic anxiety and eroding trust in yourself, others, and life. The Hyper-Vigilant might keep you "prepared," but it also keeps you from peace and intuitive confidence.
Childhood root: Grew up in unpredictable or unsafe environments.
Common thought: “Something bad could happen at any moment.”
Intuitive Shift: Stillness isn’t laziness, it’s presence. Use PQ reps to ground yourself.
The Restless
Always chasing the next shiny thing. Has a hard time staying put.
The Restless Saboteur constantly seeks new stimulation: new projects, people, places, ideas. It’s charming, fun, and great at starting things—but not so great at finishing. It avoids stillness and depth, often because it learned that being busy meant being worthy or safe. The result? Shiny-object syndrome that pulls you away from your deeper truth.
Childhood root: Distracted from pain by staying busy or entertained.
Common thought: “There’s got to be something better.”
Intuitive Shift: Depth is where the gold is. Breathe into what’s here now.
The Stickler
Needs order, rules, and perfection. And bless it, it’s tired.
The Stickler wants order, structure, and perfection—now. It sets unrealistically high standards and gets frustrated when others don’t meet them (or you don’t either). It often developed from a belief that being perfect would earn love or avoid criticism. While it can help you get things done, it chokes creativity and silences intuition by insisting there's only one “right” way.
Childhood root: Earned approval through perfection.
Common thought: “It has to be just right.”
Intuitive Shift: Done is often more powerful than perfect. Progress = peace.
Why This Matters for Personal Growth (and Business, Too)
Whether you’re running your own business or just trying to keep your sanity while thinking about it, these Saboteurs are likely shaping your decisions. They feed self-doubt, amp up overthinking, and drown out the soft, steady voice of intuition.
Your personal growth journey isn't about erasing them, it’s about relating to them differently. With awareness, compassion, and a little science-backed help, you can reroute those brain grooves and build new ones.
That’s where Positive Intelligence and intuitive development go hand-in-hand. You quiet the noise and learn to trust the whisper.
A Simple Practice to Start Today
Try this:
Notice which Saboteur is loud today.
Do one 10-second PQ rep (rub fingertips together slowly, feel the texture, anchor your attention).
Ask your inner Sage: “What’s the kind, wise next step here?”
Tiny shifts like this help you reclaim your brain… and your brilliance.
Ready to Meet Your Saboteurs?
Take the official (and fascinating) Saboteurs Assessment here:
And if you’d like to go deeper, download my worksheet: “Getting to Know ME” (Me as yourself). It’s filled with gentle, eye-opening prompts to help you reconnect with your inner wisdom and see your Saboteurs for what they really are, well-meaning but outdated protectors.
Subscribe to my email list and you’ll receive it for free + a 10% off coupon for any item in my shop!
Sources
Chamine, S. Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours.
Research on neuroplasticity and habit change: Harvard Health
Intuition science and decision-making: APA
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