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Not knowing may be the gift you are waiting for

Does it annoy you at all that just because we are adults, we are supposed to know what to do in most situations? I don’t remember anyone asking me if I wanted to be in charge of anything, let alone know what to do in every waking moment.


And yet, here we are. Card-carrying adults, some of us even with mortgages, kids, and responsibilities. Careers, parents to take care of, and adventures to live. Simply because the days added up and we became older. What a crock!


I’m kidding, mostly. I like being an adult. I like making decisions and choosing how to live my life, and I love that the critic I grew within my head has learned that her negative talk is no longer welcome in my skull.


Perhaps like you, I have been working on that particular voice for a long a*s time. Goodness, it can be tenacious, can’t it?


One of the most aggravating messages it would give me is about not knowing something. I would tear myself up, concerned I would be found out or that I would screw something up.


It started early for me because of my practical approach to life, intuition, love of a plan, and big mouth; my mother relied on me for more than she should have. I won’t bore you with the details, but I grew up fast mostly because I could put the mask on of not being afraid even when I was scared and way out of my league of knowledge. I wanted to help her and keep my father from being angry. Survival skills are taught and then hardwired in us; this was one of mine.


The imposter syndrome of being found out for not knowing something became compounded when I started working full-time as an intuitive. People expect one to know EVERYTHING in this profession. It’s impossible, I realized in time, and perhaps this is where I started to relax around having to know it all in my non-professional life.


I realized all my work, the courses I’ve created, podcasts, and thousands of sessions had culminated in releasing this pattern when Mike and I traveled last month.


On a previous trip out of the country, I had not gotten cash because I didn't know how to exchange my American money and was afraid to admit it. Yes, I know Google existed then, but my logical brain would stop working when I felt dumb. It would go numb, and the mask would be up.

And yes, I could have admitted that to him, and he would have been gracious in explaining we just go to the atm now, and it’s easy cheesy, but my upbringing of “never let them see you sweat” was louder than my belief that I could just ask. As a kid, I had bravado; as an adult, I had fear. Also, a crock!


However, this most recent trip had a different experience, as I covered in this week’s podcast.

I realized how being in a place where I didn't speak the language could have triggered old feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. However, something remarkable happened—I didn't feel like an imbecile as I had in the past. Instead, I embraced the unknown with curiosity and openness. It felt different because I was different.


I didn’t need to pretend if I didn’t know something. I could ask. I could trust I was ok not knowing, and most of all, I could have so much fun learning a new culture, country, and way of being.


In this episode, I encourage you to reflect on your own life and consider areas where you may be holding yourself back due to the fear of not knowing. I share practical insights and actionable steps to free yourself from the need to know it all and embrace the magic of curiosity. Adopting a mindset that values exploration and continuous learning allows you to tap into your true potential and experience the joy of growth and discovery.


Join me, won’t you?


Best,

Vicki


P.S. If you'd like a transcript of the podcast, head over to Youtube for subtitles.


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