Imposter

How can you possibly be an imposter? You are the only you who exists. The only soul who chose your physical vessel to travel this life in. I say this, and yet that feeling of being an imposter is real, isn’t it?


Maybe you have felt this way but didn’t know it had a fancy label. It does. Designer even. Designed from the start of the comparison model that humans put themselves through. I’ll never be perfect like that person or smart like that one, or as talented as that one. What the actual hell? Why do we do this to ourselves?


Oh yeah, that human ego thing. You know I love the ego, but sometimes that thing is a giant pain in the choochieboomie.

Does any of this seem familiar?


Let me ask you these questions, and then you can decide if imposter syndrome is familiar to you.

  • Do you often feel like you are not as bright as people think you are?

  • Despite many people telling you you’re talented and capable, do you still feel incompetent and inadequate?

  • Do you spend excessive time feeling like a fraud and that at any moment now, someone is going to figure it out?

  • Do you find yourself telling others that any amount of success you have is because you were lucky, had a blessed childhood, or the universe lined up for you?

  • Do you wonder who the heck said you were a responsible enough person to handle a checking account, mortgage, or raise kids?


What is imposter syndrome?


Imposter syndrome has been defined as the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's efforts or skills, according to dictionary.com.


I describe it as something that over 70% of humans deal with at some point in their lives. It is certainly prevalent in the clients I have worked with. It’s been very present in my life at different stages.


How could I have a business that I love so much doing work that seems everyone can do? Who am I to guide others to success when sometimes I have felt like I didn’t know what to do in my life? I make my living helping others heal their trauma when I want to stuff mine under a bag of black licorice. Yes, I said black licorice. I love it. Of that, I am certain.


So, this means I may have it?


Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean it has to be in charge of you any longer once you are aware of it. A few suggestions of how I got that little bugger to shhhhhhhh and have helped my clients do the same.

  • Be aware of your imposter feelings when they emerge. Look them right in the feels and let them know you see them. This takes power out of it.

  • Rather than telling yourself that you don’t deserve success, do a smidge better every day until you’re genuinely able to feel that you deserve the success you’ve been getting. I call this collecting the evidence. Find proof of your deserving self.

  • Always be kind to yourself. Your soul chose you to inhibit in this lifetime. That’s no mistake. That’s brilliance, and while doubt is normal, so can loving yourself so much that when that voice pops up, there is a quick response of “no, that’s old thinking. I’m not an imposter. I can’t be. I’m me. The only me.”


Believing in yourself is a process that gets built upon little by little. Give these strategies a go and see if it doesn't tamper with that voice. You could also listen to this week’s podcast for more tips on shifting your mindset to support you. What a concept, eh?


You are the only you. Embrace that and let the rest of us see it too, please.


P.S. if you’d like to have the transcript of the podcast or listen without using an app, click here!


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